Can’t relate…

I love a bit of personal development reading or listening and have been filling my brain with all of the mindset tools, coaching and guidance I can get lately but there remains one issue; none of them talk about goals outside of the material. I know some do reference it, but it’s a passing thought, one for the weirdos who don’t want the Gucci belt, Louboutins or really wouldn’t fly business class even if they could afford it (honestly, if you gave it to me for free, I’d pass it on to someone else who might get it).

I just can’t get my head around the spending. Really. I’ve been there too! My first credit card purchase (at 18) was a pair of Chanel sunglasses. I live in the UK (we don’t get a lot of sun), I didn’t travel, had no real need for them really but I bought them all the same and they made me feel good for all of about 36 hours really. I still have them, in a drawer upstairs, now horribly out of fashion I might add. I’ve spent over £100 on a pair of shoes in the past but it didn’t bring me happiness and certainly no sense of success. It bought me a fleeting excitement, then dread as my credit card bill crept up.

I’m planning a wedding at the moment and the initial idea was a wonderful laid back weekend affair with a barn, friends and family everywhere. Then the prices came in and we both said, ‘even if we had that kind of money, this isn’t what we’d spend it on’, and so we scrapped it for something much, much simpler.

There is an exercise in one of these books where you imagine the woman you want to be, what she’s wearing, what shoes or bag, what car she drives, how big is her house?

Mine has no more than I have now, materially speaking. I plan to drive a clapped out little car (I really don’t expect mine to ever die even though she’s already getting on a bit), I have a different home, but it’s a space where people come to practice yoga, teach, heal and share. My hair is unwashed, I’m absolutely not wearing a bra and I reckon I earn less, but I have more. I don’t even have any damn shoes on!

I suppose the manifestation here is the feeling of that place, but of course, some old hippy living under a tree doesn’t quite sell books like a Prada handbag or sports car.

The point of this post is to rant about materialism really, and how un-relatable I find the modern wants, needs and desires of a throw away world as a measure of my success. The phrase ‘if it makes you happy’ comes to mind. But question it; does it truly make you happy, or make you think you’re happy? Or do you really need to dig a little deeper as to why you’re not happy with what you already have or why you feel that the price tag is the same thing as your worth in this world?

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